Defining Moments

Early morning and my littlest girl asks for a snuggle. I’m already dressed, I’ve been up for hours, but she’s sleepy and a little whiny so I pull back the covers and climb into bed beside her.

I can’t stay long. The other girls are waiting for breakfast, packing their school lunches. They need me, too.

For a moment, though, I lay in the dark with Maggie, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, her curly hair brushing my face.

In these moments, I imagine that she is still my baby.

She is still my baby but she is also a little girl. She is half my height. She writes her whole name — first, middle, and last — with only a few letters reversed. She can read three letter words, sounding them out deliberately — “MMMMMM ahhhhhh P — mop.”

She still hides behind my legs when we meet someone new. She wears her pajamas when we drop off her sisters at school, sometimes.

Through a series of defining moments, she is moving from baby to little girl.

Three years ago, I called myself a stay-at-home mom. I defined myself that way: mom, homeschooler, wife. Even when I started to do some freelance work, I resisted viewing myself in new ways.

Last week, I needed to write a bio for a webTV channel where I will be hosting a show. I emailed a friend to ask for feedback. She helped me see that my story is changing.

I am defining myself in new ways. Of course, I am still mom, always mom, but I am also becoming someone else entirely.

I finished my new bio and read it over.

Is this really me? I thought. I wasn’t sure I recognized the woman I am becoming.

I read the bio again. Is this really me?

The second time, I answer with confidence, Yes! It is me.

Tell me something! What moments have helped you define who you are? Have you had moments when you don’t recognize the person you are becoming? What has helped you to “own” your new realities?

Filed As:  family, moments

About Becky Robinson

I am the owner of Weaving Influence and the leader of the Weaving Influence team. We help authors and thought leaders grow their online influence. I am also a wife and mom of three daughters, and I enjoy running, reading, writing, a good cup of coffee, and dark chocolate.

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  • Thanks for a wonderful post Becky. It has been on my mind of late as well. I have been posting blogs weekly for almost two years now and just this week I thought “Wow, that is a big chunk of writing. Does that mean I am a writer?”

    I am not sure it does but, like you, the thought that I might be on the path to becoming something else entirely was more than surprising. And scary.

    Congratulations on the WebTV spot. I look forward to watching you continue the metamorphosis.

  • Ah, Becky, there you go making me think again!
    Just the other day I introduce myself to someone as “Christa’s mom.” (We were at my daughter’s volleyball practice.) Later, I walked by him again (he’s the school athletic director) and I said, “And when I’m not called ‘Christa’s mom’I go by ‘Beth.'”
    We both laughed.
    Circumstances have defined me.
    A very wise person has helped me learn that the tragic ones do not have to be “the” defining moments in my life.
    My writing career defines me. But, guess what? Even that changes, as I move from nonfiction into the wide open spaces of fiction writing.
    What helps me own who I am?
    Sometimes it takes the affirmation of others. Usually they believe before I do.

  • Ah, an opportunity to share one of my favorite quotes.

    “Life is eternal, perpetual becoming or it is nothing.” ~ Dee Hock

  • Wow Becky. I didn’t recognize myself when I got married, bought a house, first became a dad, was hired as a manager of training, lost my job, got a new job, moved to a new state, started helping my daughter learn to drive, started blogging, etc. I was scarred every time. I started to “own” my new realities when I envisioned what I wanted to look like in these new roles, then started acting like it. Its funny how I don’t envision my future as much as I should until my future has already started happening to me. I’ll have to plan better. Great post. Thank you.

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