It’s just a part of life; sometimes, goals change.
I remember a time where I was running hard after a business. I had just opened an E-commerce store selling knitted, photography props for newborn photographers and new mothers.
I was a one woman show—the sole marketer, creator, advertiser, and accountant all while juggling a curious three year old and a newborn baby.
Looking back now, I see how crazy it was to try and handle it all. But I had always been an achiever and this was no different. I wanted to be the best at all of it—a good mother, a successful business owner and to top it off with a clean house.
Except it didn’t work out like that.
I remember juggling breast pumps and laptops, typing one handed emails to customers while nursing a baby with the other. And for a while, my business did do well. I made a consistent profit that contributed to our household income and it made me feel important… like I was DOING something.
Because isn’t that the hardest part of being a stay at home mother? The work is never done.
The laundry could be washed, dried, folded AND PUT AWAY only to turn and see your toddler running around with a blown-out diaper. It’s unending.
So for every PayPal notification that rolled in declaring a new order… I felt a growing sense of accomplishment, which was probably why I didn’t notice how much it began to take over.
I found myself pulling more and more late nights as I tried to keep up with shipping times and customer requests. Exhausted, my patience grew thinner and it wasn’t long before I snarled more than I loved on my kids.
I wish I could say that I figured out how to balance it all. But I didn’t.
In the end, I had to choose.
So three years after opening my shop, I shut it all down.
Maybe if the kids hadn’t been so young or if I hired extra help, I could have found the balance I was hoping for. But at the end of the day, I knew I wanted to be more present than successful. I didn’t want to be distracted by every ping of my phone or have my thoughts constantly consumed with improving my business. I wanted to be able to “waste” my afternoons chasing butterflies and tadpoles, watching cloud-bunnies float by and experience what it meant to be completely present with my kids.
It’s just a part of life; sometimes, goals change.
Looking back, it was the right decision. My kids were too young and I would have regretted my choice to continue pursuing my business. When you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to remember that things change—that little babies grow into big kids and with that comes new freedoms and responsibilities. Six years later, we have found new rhythms that have allowed me to pursue my ambitions while also keeping my kids front and center.
How have you balanced motherhood and a career? I’d love to hear your story.
Kelly writes about that Working Mom Life and Freelancing. When she’s not doing that, she’s orchestrating the controlled chaos that is raising pigs, chickens, and home-schooled children.