Another post from my husband. Around Weaving Influence, we call him Mr. Becky.
I think you’re going to like it.I don’t usually post on Mondays, but today marks 3 months since I started this blog, so I thought it would be fun to throw in an extra post.
Hey Twitter, grow up already.
I don’t tweet, won’t tweet, and am not even tweet-curious. My understanding of Twitter comes from the propaganda fed to me by my well-intentioned wife and the whatever I hear on the radio or see on TV.
By my estimation, Twitter’s greatest consumers are 14 year old followers of Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber. The adult followers include fans/jersey-burning detractors of Lebron James and whatever knuckleheads need to know Charlie Sheen’s narcotic of choice. (The answer: Charlie Sheen is on Charlie Sheen. Side effects include face-melting and occasional body explosions.)
The remaining minority are people trying to network with like-minded people. Saying this, however, is like needing to include all the red-headed Presbyterians when describing the demographics of India.
Oh, and spammers trying to sell cheap Canadian Viagra. I forgot them. They are also fundamental to Twitter, as I understand it.
Rather than evolve into a respectable, useful tool, Twitter’s decline has left it an instrument of inanity.
I get the theory behind this medium: you want to communicate in real time. Or, say for instance that you really like a Starbuck’s mocha. Who has the time to text all 18,440 friends individually? Twitter allows for this. Admittedly, it is the best to mechanism for finding out what is happening rightnow.
Unfortunately, what is happening is Donnie Wahlberg telling the world about an NKOTB tour stop at the Hoake County Fairgrounds. Speaking for the world, we can live without this.
When Becky tells me about her Twitter friends or the business connections she makes, I can’t help but imagine them as some post-apocalyptic group of resistance fighters hopelessly restraining the advance of vapid stormtroopers in their 140 character Deathstar of Absurdity. Those who utilize this invention for honorable purposes are, it appears, a dwindling remnant. I anticipate that by mid-June, @BBCClick will feature little more than “OMG, Snooki totally fell for the Situation’s practical joke. ROTFLMAO.”
Twitter is a flood of nonsense that is bailed by the Dixie cups of a sensible few. Of the 65 million daily tweets, I approximate the number of thought-provoking dispatches to be in the dozens. That’s rounding up, too.
Twitter needs an intervention.
Maybe someone to remind Twitter of what it was expected to become. Remember all your potential, Twitter? Look around you, all covered in tiger’s blood and surrounded by “little monsters.” You are treasonous to the movement.
As Twitter continues its degeneration I fear a day when Becky will eventually tell people she people she is a drug mule, rather than admit to using a mechanism championed by the likes of Chad Ochocinco and Khloe Kardashian. A girl has to maintain respectability somehow.